Looking at the stuff I’ve been posting previously… why, it’s a manic depressive list of songs! So let’s change the tempo a bit, and make this list bipolar. Hahaha! Kidding. ;P
Seriously though, when he broke my heart, I couldn’t bare to listen to my normal, playlist—I’m partial to songs with a hopeless romantic vibe or with depressive-tendencies see—because I’d end up hurting that I’d bawl. (I think I mentioned this before)
The hopeless romantic list of songs I had, made me feel like a miserable loon, and running on the pun, totally hopeless only without the romantic factor. Think near suicidal. I wanted to jump off buildings because there I was curtailed, bereft, deprived of true, honest and good love despite my good intentions and good self forward, and there goes all my songs emphasizing that good things happen to good people, and the opposite just happened to me—a good person. What gives right?
Then there’s the song collection with sad tendencies that amplifies feelings of despair. It’s a total shotgun to the brain and heart.
So I had to put the stuff I’d normally listen to, on pause, and listen to more pop-py, angst-filled, girl empowering, childhood comfort songs. I wanted to update my music list, so I went about looking for new stuff, lo and behold I found SNSD with Run Devil Run, and went about the whole Korean-English song translation search, and it struck a chord. IT WAS MY SONG! But because it was in Korean, I couldn’t really sing along. So I then searched Run Devil Run on YouTube, I found Ke$ha with her rendition of Run Devil Run. ♥ It was immediate.audiolove.
Tell you what, all you fellow girls with bleeding, inflicted hearts: this is the song I sang myself to sleep with, to cope with my distress. It hit the bull’s eye for me. I’m not saying that this is the panacea, but I thoroughly found it cathartic that the song described the whole situation I was in and found a way to put it lightly, enough for me to grasp and eventually “have fun with it.” Run Devil Run has this vibe that made me feel stronger cause it sets a tone of vengeance musical-wise, and it puts things in place or perspective at least for a few minutes. It allowed me to be a goddess-bitch, all powerful and wicked in my head, and that was liberating! (Of course everything about revenge was in my head, k? I could never really inflict physical harm)
Sure, this song didn’t entirely heal me, but it allowed me to shake a lot of flack and flake off. Not to mention, it allowed me to dance, when I just didn’t want to move a single muscle in my body because of the immense and intense sorrow, hurt and anger I was enveloped with.
So enjoy tonight with Run Devil Run by Ke$ha, allow yourselves to be fully human to feel pain, and release it—it’s powerful and liberating when you dispose of it properly.
Thank God for music.